Museum of Fine Art (Have I.D. Ready)

I was reading the paper again today when I saw something that made my blood boil and felt compelled to vent about it here. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's ignorance. I know the world is teeming with it so I just need to learn to tune it out. But when I read things like this it really gets my Irish up. (and I'm not even Irish)

Apparently a veteran art teacher in a school district outside of Dallas obtained permission, and therefore took her fifth-grade art class to The Museum of Fine Arts. All went well until a child informed one of his parents that he saw a nude sculpture there. Really?...A nude sculpture at the museum?...getthafuckouttahere! The parent complained to the school and the teacher was placed on administrative leave. Then she was told her contract will not be renewed. She has been essentially fired.

Several things piss me off about this: First off, she obtained permission from the school district to make the trip and did so with their blessing. When the shit hit the fan they were also the first ones to abandon her. Secondly, adults know what things are kept at the Museum of Fine Arts, even adults that have never been there. The school district knew for sure. If you're so ultra-repressive towards your children that they can't even attend a museum, don't give them permission to go...keep them at home, locked in their cage. But the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that some people are so thoroughly ignorant, narrow-minded, sexually-repressed and unenlightened that they somehow equate a nude body (even a masterpiece at the museum) to pornography.

I don't know this for a fact, but I'd bet a big pile o' bones that says the parent in question is a right-wing conservative christian. Which seems odd, because you'd think that hard-core bible thumpers would be the first to acknowledge the beauty in something that "God" created. Which brings me to a similar incident that happened in Conroe, Tx. last year.

An Oshman's Superstore opened in Conroe, Tx. a year or so back, the front of the store was modeled to look like the facade of an ancient Greek building complete with replicas of masterpieces of Greek and Roman sculpture. Among the replicas: Michelangelo's David. Arguably, one of the greatest works of art in the history of humankind; a masterpiece among masterpieces. Can you see where this is going?

For the 3 people on the face of the earth that are not aware of this, David is a sculpture of a nude man who's penis is visible...GASP...HIS PENIS!!! Well, this brought all of the religious groups out of the woodworks to protest this "public display of pornography". (That's a quote by the way) The company, which was looking to avoid controversy, announced that the offending statue would be placed on top of the store, more than 50 feet in the air so that the evil member could not be seen by anyone on ground level.

That wasn't good enough.

The leader of the protest countered that the penis "can still be seen easily with the use of binoculars or a telescope". ?!?!?!?!?.......WHAT?! What the hell are they doing with binoculars unless they ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO SEE IT?! I guess just the fact that they KNEW it was up there just wouldn't allow them to sleep at night. (Despite the fact that most of them actually slept next to, or had a real one attached to them.) Ultimately, the store paid for an artist to come out and sculpt a fig leaf for David to wear. That'll show that smut-peddler Michelangelo! This is the same Michelangelo that painted a nude Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican...Ya know, where THE POPE lives?

This same group also lobbied to have an Italian restaurant closed because of a photograph on the wall which showed the owner standing next to the Venus De Milo. (And you could see her boobies.) They failed.

If people only learned shame regarding their bodies instead of appreciation, that's their problem. Keep it in your own home; trust me, it's nothing to be proud of. Don't push this ridiculous perspective on the rest of us. The only reason children grow up with hang-ups about sex or the human form is because idiot parents teach them that it's "dirty" or "sinful". Take a page from the European's book on sexuality: Don't worry about it and eventually no one will care. Europeans have no problem with sex on TV; they do, however have a problem with excessive violence. We are exactly the opposite. Kids can play video games that depict graphic gun-fights, but can't view a 500 year-old sculpture of a nude body. No wonder most people in the world view American's as booger-eating mouth-breathers.

People travel thousands of miles to view masterpieces of art with their own eyes and not just from a book. Art is one of the finest endeavors of our species; People should aspire to it, or at the very least aspire to appreciate and understand why it it will forever be part of our collective soul. And if you don't like it, fine, at least don't stand in the way of others that do like it and even need it. At this point, I'd be happy if everyone could at least tolerate it.

I think children should be required to go to the museum with their parents, be allowed to ask questions and receive tactful and intelligent responses. Perhaps they will grow up to be enlightened patrons of the arts and champions of beauty!

Below is Michelangelo's David. It took almost 5 years to complete between 1500 and 1504. It was sculpted from a single block of marble with a hammer and chisel; no power tools. It is 17 feet tall. Yeah, they're right. It's repulsive.